Forks and Speed-bumps

Many of you who read this blog know our family’s story. Needless to say, we’ve had our share of tragedy over the last eighteen months. After losing our twenty year old daughter in 2020, we moved back the the United States after living in the Middle East for 16 years. That transition alone would’ve been difficult enough, but having to do it while grieving the loss of our daughter was overwhelming. It was more than we could handle.

There was a long list of difficulties that we have had to walk through and many we are still walking through. One particular struggle for me was that, in so many respects, I found myself at a crossroad. A crossroad of purpose and a crossroad of faith. That’s a difficult set of crossroads when you don’t have a map for the new direction you’re traveling. I’m a very heavy contemplator, so, in the best of situations, I don’t make quick decisions. In this situation, I’ve had to set up camp and dig deep. I’m not talking about an overnight camp where you just need a place to sleep. I’m talking about campfires, clothes lines, latrines and fishing…all the things that indicate you’re going to be there for a while.

It’s been difficult knowing which way to go in this new season of life that has been so captivated by our pain and grief. So many times in life, we all find ourselves at a crossroad. Sometimes it’s because of intense seasons of pain and disappointment, sometimes it’s just due to circumstances in our lives that were out of our control. For most everyone else, this season may just be a speed-bump, something that was painful and caused their lives to slow down as they eased over the disappointment, but eventually, their lives moved on. We get distressed or uncomfortable with that because a crossroad is not a speed-bump. We don’t understand why they moved on so quickly and we’re still camping on the side of the road.

Here is what I know and what I’m learning. Speed-bumps are times for us to slow down, check our speed and make sure we don’t hit something that’s going to cause a lot of damage. A Crossroad has a very different purpose. It’s a potential change of direction…and it’s going to have a long-term impact on our lives. It’s okay to camp for a while. It’s okay to be still and wait on the voice of the Lord. It’s okay if things don’t get done or if you feel unproductive.

We hear the saying, “the journey is more important than the destination.” There is truth in that statement, we need to learn to enjoy the journey and not be so distracted by where we are going that we lose all the precious moments leading up to it. Trust me, I know that better now than I ever did. However, if we’ve enjoyed the journey, but end up at the wrong destination, then the joy of the journey has no value. We still need to get to where HE is leading us.

So, slow down, ease over the disappointments, pain, and sorrow. When you find yourself at a crossroad, get out the camping gear, do some laundry, take your pole down to the river and sit by a tree and fish. Let your Father love you and speak to you. Take all the time you need. Make sure the path that you continue down is the narrow one that has been cut by the sword of the King. It’s the most dangerous and safest path you can take.

It’s important that we realize that the tragedy that brought our crossroad, may only be someone else’s speed-bump. It’s hard to understand sometimes when we find ourselves camping out and others are flying by, continuing on with the life that was only interrupted by a bump in the road. That is not said to make light of your grief and pain, it’s just a reality of the world we live in. The things that hurt us the most, don’t effect others the same way. We all have our crossroads and we all have our speed-bumps. Don’t try to make someone else’s speed-bump into a crossroad and don’t allow anyone to make your crossroad into a speed-bump. They are different and they have different purposes, but both are essential in our lives. We are on a journey, but we need to slow down, seek His voice, pay attention that we don’t hit something or someone, and stay on the path that has already been tread by our Savior!